


The Horror! (Or, That Time Loki Discovered Tentacle Porn)

by Lokiismylife27



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blackmail, Crack, Gen, Happy Ending, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki's Octopus Army, Mentions of manga, Non-explicit Tentacle Rape, Octopuses, Other, Poor Thor (Marvel), Sort Of, The Author Regrets Nothing, more like it's just more crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 09:12:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12251367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokiismylife27/pseuds/Lokiismylife27
Summary: I really think the title says it all.....





	The Horror! (Or, That Time Loki Discovered Tentacle Porn)

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy the madness of my mind!

       Loki, in between annoying Thor and his mortal friends for the hell of it, had discovered manga. He ended up reading quite a bit of it, and eventually came across tentacle porn. While initially horrified, he eventually realized that this would be the perfect way to traumatize his not-brother. And quite possibly several others, as well.

To that end, Loki began plotting. Eventually, he came up with a plan, and implemented it the following Thursday (because Thor hated it when he ‘attacked’ on Thursdays).

He let an army of octopuses that he’d altered to be able to live on land loose on New York City. The octopuses had instructions to go straight for everyone’s pants, and soon there was a cacophony of screaming throughout the city, as the octopuses started reenacting several scenes from the most depraved books Loki had ever seen.

The Avengers showed up pretty quickly, and Loki immediately sent the octopuses after them. He started cackling evilly when quite a few of his octopuses went straight for Steve, and managed to pin his feet to the ground. The next thing anyone knew, the octopuses were busily attempting to get tentacles under his suit. Nearby, Thor was having similar issues. The only ones who weren’t having trouble were Tony and Clint, who were both up too high for the octopuses to reach them. “Fuck, Loki, this is depraved,” Tony commented. “Where do you come up with this shit?”

“Manga,” Loki shrugged, still snickering as he watched Captain America get debauched by a bunch of octopuses.

 _“LOKI! WHY_ ARE THESE MONSTROSITIES ATTEMPTING TO COPULATE WITH ME!?” Thor shouted, trying to peel an octopus off his leg.

“I was feeling nostalgic,” Loki called back. “Remember that one time on Vanaheim, with the sea monster?”

“I THOUGHT WE AGREED NEVER TO SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN!”

“You agreed, I just nodded,” Loki said happily.

“What happened?” Tony asked, morbidly curious.

“Really Stark?” Clint asked over the coms.

“Hey, I’m curious, this would be great blackmail material, and I don’t really want another lawsuit from PETA,” Tony said.

“….Carry on.”

“Still interested?” Loki asked, amused.

“Yep,” Tony said.

“Thor, his sycophants, and I were sent to Vanaheim to deal with a sea monster there,” Loki started. “This was before Thor was into girls, however. It turned out to be a Kraken, which was terrorizing the villages along the coast. Anyways, we went out to battle it, and discovered it became very calm and docile when Thor was around. We asked around a bit, and it turned out that the cologne Thor used was an aphrodisiac to Krakens. So we decided to douse him in the cologne, and use him as bait to kill the Kraken. And it worked like a charm- except for the fact that the Kraken became aroused as soon as Thor got close to it, and we had to kill it to make it stop trying to have sex with him. Thor will deny it to his dying day, but that was the day he lost his virginity.”

Tony was howling with laughter, as was Clint. “IT IS NOT FUNNY!” Thor shrieked. “YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, LOKI!”

“I look forward to seeing you try,” Loki smirked. “I suppose I’ve traumatized Captain Rogers enough, however.” He called back his octopus army, and left with them, leaving Thor steaming mad, Steve catatonic, Tony and Clint still laughing, and Natasha to get in touch with Fury, since Bruce hadn’t been on this mission.

 ** _Later, in a SHIELD debriefing room:_** Thor was glaring at Tony and Clint, who couldn’t look at him without snickering, Steve was in Medical, and Natasha was cleaning her nails with a dagger as Fury snarled, “What the fuck is wrong with you people? That was an unmitigated disaster, and you didn’t even capture Loki!”

“What’s the point? He always gets out by the next morning at the latest,” Tony said, shrugging. “Plus I think he earned it with that story- that was hilarious!”

“Would. You. Quit. Talking. About. That!?” Thor shouted.

Tony and Clint just started snickering, and Thor growled. “I am going to visit Jane, and would prefer not to be disturbed,” he said.

“Get ready for more questions- I texted Lewis about this,” Tony called after him as he stormed out. Turning back to Fury, “So….. are we done?”

“Get out of my sight,” Fury growled. Tony, Clint, and Natasha went back to the tower, and Tony said, “We should invite Loki over for dinner- that was pure gold!”

“Do we have to?” Clint asked.

Before Tony could respond, Loki flickered into existence, asking, “Did I hear my name?”

“Tony wants you to stay for dinner,” Clint said.

“And you?” Loki asked.

“I suppose it’s fine,” Clint said grudgingly. “Especially since I’m guessing you’ve got more blackmail on Thor.”

Loki smirked, and thus an unholy alliance to make Thor’s life a living hell was born.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, and sorry if anything was triggering; I didn't really know what to put for trigger warnings if any.


End file.
